Chore Day

After a long and frusturating night, I went to bed and sleep great. I don't know how, but I woke up at 10:30 this morning. It felt so great, and Cayce and I haven't argued once today. We did favors or one another and he is thinking about building me a book shlef to put under the bed because I want my books out of boxes. They have been in there TOO LONG!!

I have done two loads of dishes. I have no dishwasher, so I have to wash them by hand, and it is very draining and aggrevating. I have done 2 loads of laundry and not done yet. I put up Samantha's clothes and got clean sheets and blankets out for their beds. I'm waiting for miss Adalyn to wake up from her nap, so I can put up her clothes and get hangers out of her room for Ariana's clothes.

Cayce took the girls outside to let them play while he works on his sawbucks. I'm going to go out there in a little bit and help him paint them, and possibly rake a little bit. We are having tacos tonight for dinner and we are going to make some spaghetti for the freezer.

We are considering Swagbucks to be my job. I work so hard on it and I'm hoping that I won't get any tax thing in the mail.

I have to go now because Samantha is handing me my shoes.

Sad and Hurt

This morning started off ok. Cayce got up and cooked breakfast for us before he went to work. I got some chores done before he came to work and I did my nails, and put some perfume on for Cayce. I cooked lunch and did more laundry. We had a good lunch break together.

When he got home from work, I was making supper and he told me that he was going to go to the movies with Budd. I got so angry and upset that he didn't want to spend time with our family. I have cried so much tonight. I am feeling rejected and lonely. He wants me to do more stuff for me, but he doesn't understand that I am by myself with the kids 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and I want to spend time with him.

It's getting to the point where I don't want to be in a relationship with him because I already feel alone and like a single parent. I have given up so much for the relationship, that I don't know where to go or what to do.

I haven't been able to get much of my cookbook done today. I want to go on some family outings this weekend so Cayce and I can become closer together for our kids. I don't want to drift further away from him.

I calculated my swagbucks orders from last year and I'm hoping that I haven't made over 600.00 dollars because if I did, Cayce will make me quit swagbucks. I don't want to because it is MY job!

I feel so controlled by him, and I don't have anymore friends. I lost my relationships with everyone the day I had Samantha, and I knew I would never get my friends back on graduation day.

I am going to go to bed now and hope that tomorrow will be better than today. I am going to go play coupon fairy tomorrow and get some more swagbucks.

Night!

Way Behind Schedule

I'm way behind schedule. Yesterday when we woke up, Cayce told me that he wanted me to stop doing Swagbucks. After everything I have gotten him, he wants me to quit. I voiced all of my opinions and then went outside with him and raked, while he took nails and staples out of plywood.

I felt so attacked when he told me that I didn't have a very good day. I didn't get what I wanted to do, done. So I had to push it back to today. I felt mini panic attacks throughout the day.

I got the toys sorted this morning, and I have to do dishes in a little bit. Cayce keeps bothering me to go outside with him, but it is just TOO cold.

My anxiety is on the low level this morning, and hope it stays this way.

Goals Met

I have been doing so much today. I finally got Samantha's and Ariana's clothes put away, and realized that I have to go through their toys and sort them, so I can get my blue tubs back so I can seperate baby clothes by winter and summer. I got some dishes washed, and I met my swagbucks goal early and still working on my personal goal. I got Sammy's school work caught up and ready to do more work tomorrow.

Cayce had to go finish helping my dad this morning and he finally got the plywood and metal so we can start working on expanding our building.

My goals for the rest of the night is to finish dishes.
Get a load of Cayce's pants in the washing machine.
Try to get the number and letter book in order so I can get it done within the next week or two.
Type two recipes up.

I have some goals for tomorrow that I will post in the morning.

Bye!!

Prep. Curriculum: Week 19

I'm sorry that I'm a day late with this post. We were over at my parent's house all day yesterday, and I didn't get everything done. Last week's theme was boats. The vocabulary word was sail.

On Monday, Samantha colored two boat or yacht coloring pages.

On Tuesday, we did triangles.

I gave Samantha the day off on Wednesday. On Thursday, we did the letter S. My dad works for a sign company and he made the girls signs of their first initials. Sammy has a huge S over her bed.

On Friday night, she did the number 19.

This week she is learning about ballons.

I Have To Have A Schedule

I realized today that for me to get through the day, I have to have hours and everything planned out, or I will have a panic or anxiety attack. For example, when I wake up, I automatically think of what I have to do that morning before Cayce goes to work, to keep my preoccupied, and not get bored, or I will get panicky. I have to check tv shows for my whole day to keep me busy while I'm doing my housework or work on the computer.

Today, I planned a trip to the mall. We went to bath and body works, and Budd came over today around 3:00. I have to keep telling myself my schedule over and over through the day.

Tomorrow, we are going to my parent's house to rake leaves so we can get money for my phone card. I will be working out also, and we will be eating dinner there too. That's all I have planned along with my swagbucks work and house work.

Night All!!

Great Weekend Coming!

Cayce and I had a disagreement this morning, but we will be having a fantastic weekend. Tomorrow night and Saturday night will be dedicated to my Ghost Adventures. On Saturday, I want to take the kids to the riverwalk and maybe edisto memorial gardens. We have some burning to do, and yard work. Budd is coming over on Saturday night to hang out and help Cayce watch the fire.

On Sunday, we are going to my parents house to rake their yard because my dad is going to get me my phone card. Adalyn's birthday present came in the mail yesterday. I was so excited. She is getting big too fast.

I have to go. I have some personal stuff to do and some house work.
Good day all!