Sad and Hurt

This morning started off ok. Cayce got up and cooked breakfast for us before he went to work. I got some chores done before he came to work and I did my nails, and put some perfume on for Cayce. I cooked lunch and did more laundry. We had a good lunch break together.

When he got home from work, I was making supper and he told me that he was going to go to the movies with Budd. I got so angry and upset that he didn't want to spend time with our family. I have cried so much tonight. I am feeling rejected and lonely. He wants me to do more stuff for me, but he doesn't understand that I am by myself with the kids 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and I want to spend time with him.

It's getting to the point where I don't want to be in a relationship with him because I already feel alone and like a single parent. I have given up so much for the relationship, that I don't know where to go or what to do.

I haven't been able to get much of my cookbook done today. I want to go on some family outings this weekend so Cayce and I can become closer together for our kids. I don't want to drift further away from him.

I calculated my swagbucks orders from last year and I'm hoping that I haven't made over 600.00 dollars because if I did, Cayce will make me quit swagbucks. I don't want to because it is MY job!

I feel so controlled by him, and I don't have anymore friends. I lost my relationships with everyone the day I had Samantha, and I knew I would never get my friends back on graduation day.

I am going to go to bed now and hope that tomorrow will be better than today. I am going to go play coupon fairy tomorrow and get some more swagbucks.

Night!